I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
