And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Never underestimate the power of titties
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
