party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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