Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
