I wish I could teleport
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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