Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
