1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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