I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
