oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
