pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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