Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
