Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
