quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
