I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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