im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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