I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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