Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
