Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
