Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
