Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
