you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
