super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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