That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
