My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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