Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
