Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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