I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
