Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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