I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
