I want to have your abortion
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
