Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
