He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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