thus making me awesome and them whores
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
