I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
