The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
