jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
