dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Four minutes until I can fart!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
