sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
