True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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