and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need a beard to bite.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
