Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
