You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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