Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
