It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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