uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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