I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
