it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
