Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
