How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
