she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
